


Remade in Marble

by FemaleSpock



Series: Redemption Calls [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (kind of), Ashes, Blood, Bloodplay, Dom/sub Undertones, I'm not sure if there's anything else I need to tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Knifeplay, M/M, Possessiveness, Role Reversal, Stigmata, Switching, Unhealthy Relationships, but it's just a fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:26:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6727654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FemaleSpock/pseuds/FemaleSpock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'In many ways, Ren’s body was much as he had remembered: pale skin, with a sprinkling of moles, and a generous number of scars. Hux had put many of them there himself. Hux ignored these: there was no need to catalogue them. He was looking for new wounds only.'</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>A rather literal take on Kylo being torn apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remade in Marble

**Author's Note:**

> Please heed the warnings in the tags and let me know if you think there's anything else I should warn for.

 Hux was making his usual rounds on the Finalizer when he discovered it. Turning around a corner, he found his boots sliding against something slippery. He splayed his palms out to steady himself and just barely avoided falling. Someone was going to end up fired for this; he almost smiled at the thought. It would be something at least to break the monotony of the past few weeks. He peered at the floor to discover the source of the slip hazard and found his answer. There was a long slick of blood painted across the floor, barely visible against the dark sheen of the metal.

 

He raised his head and was treated to the sight of the shadowy and swiftly retreating form of Kylo Ren. It was the first sighting of the man in weeks.

 

Hux did not consider the possibility that the blood was anyone’s fault but Ren’s. “Ren!”

 

Ren had heard, Hux was sure, but he didn’t slow his pace. He marched on, the trail stretching out behind him like a war banner.

 

Hux strode fast enough to catch up with Ren, managing to get him just as he walked through the door into his own quarters. Hux wasn’t invited in but he followed him anyway. He reached out and snagged just the barest snatch of black fabric before closing his hand around a fist full of air.

 

Ren turned around to face Hux, the expressionless mask giving nothing away. Hux doesn’t need to see beneath the mask to know Ren.

 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said.

 

“No.”

 

“Don’t lie to me. Before Starkiller exploded you were in my quarters every night, begging me to touch you. You haven’t been by once since the base exploded." There had been a lot of things that hadn't happened since Starkiller had exploded. They had been told to wait for orders from Snoke and waiting they were. They were sat out in a safe planetary system, the ship idling whilst the Supreme Leader took his time making up his mind. "It’s not that I mind – I am happy for the peace and quiet - but I have to wonder how you’ve been spending all your time.” He cast his eyes over the blood stain visible on Ren’s floor. “But I suppose I don’t need to ask that question. Might I ask whose blood that is? No-one too important I hope. If you’re going to kill on my base, I’d rather it be Stormtroopers. The officers are far too troublesome to replace.”

 

Of course, they were all expendable in the end. Even Starkiller base hadn't been built to last.  

 

“I haven’t killed anyone.” Ren’s voice sounded choked.

 

“We both know that’s not true.” He meant it as a compliment. Ren was quite proficient in his craft. Not much else, of course, but Hux had to respect the violence.

 

“I haven’t killed anyone today,” Ren amended. He sounded ashamed.

 

“Then how, exactly, are you managing to track blood throughout _my_ ship?”

 

“It’s mine.” The words came out in a hiss through the metallic voice plate. 

 

Hux raised an unimpressed eyebrow and surveyed Ren. It was impossible to tell just how injured he was beneath the robes. It was a fact that he had used to his own advantage when he’d had occasion to paint the skin of Ren’s neck with bruises. Now it put him on the outside. “Last I checked your wound was on the side of your torso. I know because I went to great personal trouble to ensure that you got to the medbay safe and sound.”

 

“That’s healed. You can barely see it now.”

 

Hux wished he had first-hand visual confirmation but he was willing to accept Kylo at his word. “Then what? Surely not your face?”

 

Ren shook his head. “It’s easier if I show you.”

 

Hux had been hoping he would say that.

 

Ren’s hands went to his left boot, pulling the zip down slowly. Foot freed, he tossed it aside. It fell onto the floor and bent in a way that would have implied broken bones had Ren’s foot still been in it.

 

“Careful Ren.” Normally the words were enough to get Ren at least half hard but didn’t seem to even notice that Hux had spoken. So this was serious then.

 

Ren removed his sock and revealed his left foot, pallid but for the large open wound at the centre, petals of flesh scraped back around a bright dot of red. It reminded Hux of a particular flower native to Arkanis. He had long forgotten its name but he would never forget the splash of red against the forest so dark, the greens and browns seemed to blur into black. He had stood on a thorn that day but it had barely pierced the flesh. Still, he’d learnt his lesson well: he had never again wandered the forest without shoes.

 

“Where did you get that?” He tried and failed to disguise the sting of jealousy in his voice.

 

Ren did not answer. His fingers were already on the zip of his other boot. Moments later and an identical mark was revealed on his right foot. Hux scrutinised it, flipping his gaze between the two. Even on close inspection the marks were perfectly symmetrical. Far too perfect to come from imperfect human hands. How had Ren, hypersensitive-Ren, not flinched under the touch of whatever had made these? “ _How_ did you get these?” he persisted.

 

“I don’t know. They just appear.”

 

“Take the mask off. I want to look at your face,” Hux commanded, turning Ren’s words over in his mind.

 

Kylo followed the order without hesitation. His dark eyes burned like embers against his pallid skin and the corner of his mouth was twitching. Hux could read that face as though it was a report on his datapad. “You’re conflicted.” 

 

“These aren’t the only ones,” Ren confessed, his tongue stumbling over the words quickly, as if he hadn’t intended to say anything at all. “There are others. They came slowly at first but now I can expect to find a new one waiting for me in the morning.”

 

“What is to say that you aren’t simply making these wounds yourself?” Hux thought aloud.

 

It wouldn’t be the first time. Ren had a lattice of faded pink marks spanning his broad shoulders. Purification wounds, Ren had said. Hux had been so angry when he’d first discovered them. He’d always preferred to work on a blank canvas.

 

Ren’s mouth trembled with outrage. “I would know!”

 

“In your sleep, say,” Hux clarified.

 

“Stay,” pleaded Ren. “Stay and watch me sleep. You’ll see if they appear.”

 

It would be easier and probably much safer to activate the camera in Ren’s room and record an evenings worth of footage for Hux to watch at his leisure. There was no telling what Ren might do in his sleep. But he wanted to see this for himself. “Fine. Strip and show me what you have so far.”

 

Ren’s hands were at his cowl in an instant, removing it a truly breathtaking speed and throwing it carelessly to the floor. His fingers traced the inner seams of his robes until he happened upon the catch, flicking it open, allowing the robes to fall heavily to the floor.

 

In many ways, Ren’s body was much as he had remembered: pale skin, with a sprinkling of moles, and a generous number of scars. Hux had put many of them there himself. Hux ignored these: there was no need to catalogue them. He was looking for new wounds only. There was a mark on his side, of course, but that was already accounted for. His eyes scanned Ren’s skin and he made a mental list: the hole in each foot; a large slash underneath his left clavicle; two marks in the shape of an ‘x’ on his right hip; two perpendicular incisions above his left knee; and a dozen little papercut-like wounds peppered on his abdomen. Irregular wounds but Hux supposed a lack of uniformity was to be expected from Ren, who was currently looking at him with doe eyes that begged for some kind of validation.   

 

“You haven’t removed your gloves or your undershorts,” said Hux, unwilling to give Ren more than this for the moment.

 

“There’s nothing to see there,” protested Ren, nevertheless removing his gloves to reveal clean wrists. He did not move to remove the other item of clothing.

 

“Why so hesitant? It’s not like I haven’t seen everything before,” Hux taunted.

 

Ren bit his lip and pushed the undershorts down with force, face flushed with anger or arousal or humiliation (it was impossible to tell which). He was as good as his word. There were no marks to be found there.

 

“Fine,” pronounced Hux. He strode around to examine Ren’s back and found nothing out of place there – just well-muscled shoulders and the pale reminders of self-inflicted injuries.

 

He had what he needed now.

 

Hux went to the computer and authorised a several degree increase in temperature to Ren’s quarters. Ren was sensitive to the cold, as he was to all things. The hair on his arms was standing on edge, had been since he divested himself of clothing, but Ren did not allow himself to shiver. Hux could see the tension in the way he held his shoulders. He was usually more than satisfied to make Ren suffer it but it would be counterproductive in this case. He needed Ren to relax enough to fall asleep.

 

“Lights 15%,” he commanded and the room dimmed. 

 

Wordlessly, Ren got on the bed.

 

The shift in temperature was almost immediate, warm air blasting through the vents. Hux could see Ren smile for the first time since Hux had entered the room.

 

“That’s nice,” he said. He stretched, cat-like, allowing himself to get comfortable.

 

From his vantage point, Hux noticed that Ren’s foot wounds had stopped bleeding for the moment, leaving the slightest of smears on the bedsheets. He wondered if there was a pattern to that too or if it were as random as the collection of marks themselves.

 

“Stop talking,” he ordered. “You won’t fall asleep if you’re blabbering on.”

 

Ren closed his eyes. “There’s a bottle of the brandy you like in the cabinet above the computer.”

 

Hux did not respond. He did not reward disobeyed orders. Nevertheless, he walked over the cabinet in question and found that Ren wasn’t lying. He might have sneered, have questioned Ren as to why he was in possession of this specific, and rather expensive, brandy when he didn’t even drink, had he not resolved to punish Ren with silence.

 

He grabbed the bottle. He prepared himself to scramble around for something resembling a glass – Ren was so lacking in manners – but found that there was a single, solitary glass sitting behind the bottle, revealed once he had taken it into his hands. Well, no-one could accuse Ren of being ill-prepared.

 

The sound of the liquid sloshing into the glass as Hux poured himself a measure was the only audible noise in the room.

 

‘ _Good boy_ ,” Hux thought. It was not aimed at Ren directly but he wondered if he could hear it anyway.

 

He took a seat next to the bed. Ren was entirely still now. Hux took a sip of brandy and felt the stinging warmth slowly spread across his lips. This was going to be a long night.

 

* * *

 

This should be boring – nothing was happening – but it wasn’t. Hux hadn’t seen the man in weeks and he found himself drinking in every micro-movement Ren made in his evidently disturbed sleep. If only someone could see this, see Hux cast his shadow over Ren’s un-armoured form. What power he held. Had he desired it, he could easily have killed the Knight, could have ended him before he woke. Hux did not indulge that thought any further but he did allow himself another sip of brandy. There was a whole bottle but that didn’t give him a license to get drunk. He needed to stay alert for this. 

 

It was lucky that Ren seemed to be able to sleep in almost any conditions. If their positions had been reversed, there was no way Hux would be able to relax enough to sleep. Not with the lights on, even dimly. Not with Ren watching him. But if their positions had been reversed, Hux never would have asked Ren for help in the first place.

 

Ren started to shake more violently, shaking Hux from his thoughts. He mumbled in his sleep, speaking too fast for Hux to fully understand the words. He was twitching, limbs jolting uselessly around his body.

 

“Solo…”

 

Hux understood that word but not the context it belonged in. Hux stood to watch closer, cautiously inching to hover above his sleeping form on the bed. Ren did not react to the shadow above him. His hands were bunched in fists, opening momentarily, then closing up again. Compulsively, Hux touched the palms of his gloved hands. He inhaled noiselessly.

 

Ren opened his fist again and there it was. The bright spot of blood, the freshly opened wound. Jealous nausea slowly rose up through Hux’s body, his breath catching in his throat. How typical it was of Ren to manifest his pain like this, for his body to make such a brazen display of vulnerability. 

 

Ren did not wake. In fact, he stilled now, breath settling. He did not wake until, did not even stir, until morning.

 

* * *

 

“Hey,” said Ren, opening his eyes to catch sight of Hux. He sounded confused but pleased.

 

He was disorientated from sleep, Hux realised. He probably didn’t even remember he had asked Hux to stay or why.

 

He strode over and took Ren’s arm, showing him the palm.

 

Ren bolted up, awake and aware in an instant. “You saw it. These aren’t mine.” It was phrased like a statement but from Ren it sounded like the most desperate kind of question.

 

“No, not you. Not unless you were doing it with the Force.” During the hours of wakefulness, Hux had turned the remaining possibilities over in his mind and had settled on the most obvious. “It must be Snoke then. He’s punishing you for your failures.”

 

“I don’t feel his presence.” Ren sounded strangely disappointed.

 

“He said he wanted me to bring you to him so that you could complete your training but he hasn’t asked to see you once. Maybe this is it.”

 

Ren was emphatic in his response. “No. This isn’t it. I would sense it if it were him.”

 

Hux noticed that he didn’t dispute that Snoke would do such a thing to him. “And I don’t suppose that you could just go to the medbay and get these checked out? There are thousands of diseases in the galaxy – not everything is about your ancient religion.”

 

“You think I haven’t tried bacta? Do you think I haven’t tried everything I could think of? These wounds are of a spiritual nature,” Ren hissed.

 

Hux was tempted to tease but in the mood Ren was in, he’d probably end up lashing out and expelling Hux from the room. And this was far too interesting for him to want to leave just yet, not if he couldn't guarantee that he would be welcomed back. “There are scriptures, aren’t there? Or holocrons? What to they have to say about this?”

 

Ren’s words were halting. “They’re rare. We – I don’t have access to even a fraction of the knowledge that once existed.”

 

“Snoke?” Hux asked.

 

Ren shook his head. “That he has refused to summon me is enough to know that he does not wish for my presence. I can’t go to him unbidden.”

 

“And the Knights?”

 

Ren was silent, sullen.

 

“What about the Knights?” Hux pressed.

 

His head was low. “They’d smell the weakness and they’d turn against me. You’re the only one I’ve told, the only one I can trust.”

 

Hux felt something akin to offence at that but he reminded himself that trust was useful. Trust gave him knowledge. Trust gave him control.

 

“I’ll observe how this develops then,” he said because that was all he could say. He couldn’t promise Ren a cure, even if he wanted to. “But for now, I am going to back to the bridge. Comm me if anything changes.”

 

Ren looked at him, something like shock in his wide-eyed stare.

 

“What?” snapped Hux. He had agreed to this because it interested him but he hadn’t signed to allow Ren to try to guilt him into abandoning his duties. He had already been away for far too long.

 

“You haven’t slept,” said Ren, finally.

 

Hux let out a huff of a laugh and left without another word.

 

* * *

 

He called upon Ren that night, walking in without warning. It was always better that way, not allowing Ren to become accustomed, or expectant of his presence. He was beholden to his shift schedule; he would not be beholden to Ren too.

 

 The sight that confronted him was infinitely bizarre

 

Ren was knelt down by the strange altar he kept in his room, back to Hux, the bloody soles of his feet exposed to the air and Hux’s gaze. He was completely naked. His hands were raised up, cupped together, holding something. He tipped the hands over, then dragged them along his face. There was a fine coating of ash on the floor around Ren. It was incongruous, this ritual, set against the backdrop of the Finalizer’s sleek and efficient architecture. 

 

“Feel like making a mess, did we?”

 

Ren did not jump at the intrusion. He never did.

 

“I felt you come in.” An unnecessary answer to an unspoken question. “The ashes are purifying.”

 

“And how do you figure that exactly?”

 

Ren stood slowly and turned. Hux drank in the sight. The dark powder was intense around the forehead, streaking down to the rest of his face. His lips were black where the ashes met saliva, the mixture of the two collecting in lines along the cracks in the skin. A little of the ash had fallen down onto his chest too. There were small black dots nestled into the open wound below his left clavicle. _Unhygienic_ , thought Hux, but these wounds worked on their own logic. Bacta did not heal; perhaps ashes would not harm. Ren’s hands were coated in the remains. His nails were black. He looked so young like this, a wide-eyed child who had stuck his head in an old-fashioned fireplace and come away filthy.

 

“Their sacrifice has not been forgotten,” muttered Kylo. “They were cleaved under the touch of my blade and in the moments of death I was pure. The temptations I’ve been facing, well, they’re just an insult to that. To them.”

 

“Why do you care about them? Isn’t that what’s tearing you apart in the first place?” Hux's grasp on the workings of the Force was limited at best, but he was given to understand that such concern was not particularly in-tune with the philosophies of the dark-side. 

 

“You don’t understand!” burst out Kylo. The wound, the one Hux had been staring at, split. Blood ran down in a straight line down the sculpted lines of Ren’s chest down to Ren’s crotch where it disappeared into a mass of black hair.

 

Hux felt his eyes widen, mesmerised by its journey. His cock gave a little twitch. 

 

“You’ve ruined it,” Ren accused. “You’ve ruined me.”

 

“You’re welcome.” He turned to leave. What more was there to say? Ren had asked for his help but he had clearly changed his mind again. Hux wasn’t going to ask him for anything and he certainly wouldn’t apologise. He would return when Ren apologised for his melodramatics.  

 

“You’ve already interrupted, you might as well stay,” Ren said, quick as a blaster bolt. 

 

Hux raised an eyebrow, though Ren couldn’t see it. “Might I? I wouldn’t want to disturb you and your ashes.”

 

“Please,” whined Ren, like Hux knew he would. “Please stay.”

 

He wasn’t going to make it that easy for him. “I have better things to do than watch you pour ashes over your open wounds.”

 

“Fuck me. Please Hux, just fuck me. Make me forget this.”

 

Hux spun around and like that his hands were about Ren’s neck. He pressed up against the soft ash-covered flesh and left a trail of fingerprints. He ran a thumb over Ren’s Adam’s apple. One good press and he could force Ren to swallow it down like he swallowed everything else Hux gave him. He brushed that thought aside and took Ren’s face in is hands, pulling their lips together. He had tasted blood on the other man’s lips many a time but the taste of ash was novel - bitter to the tongue - but novel nonetheless.

 

They broke apart and Ren walked unbidden to the bed, lying down on his back, spreading his legs apart wide. In this, he was well trained at least. Ren reached under his pillow and pulled out a bottle of lube, slicking up his fingers. Hux allowed himself a moment to just stand back and watch as Ren worked a finger inside himself far too quickly to be sensible but that was Ren all over. Almost as soon as the first finger had disappeared, he’d added a second, pushing it in eagerly, getting right up to the knuckle of those enormous hands.

 

Hux took his time on the way over; confident in the knowledge Ren was watching his every step. He unbuckled his trousers, removing them with practiced efficiency, and freed his cock, stroking himself in a leisurely fashion. He was only half-hard but it was of no matter. It’d give Ren the time to prepare himself, not that Ren seemed to want it.

 

Ren’s pupils dilated at the sight and he let out a moan as he forced yet another finger inside.

 

“Slow down,” advised Hux, though he knew Ren wouldn’t.

 

There was a whine from Ren and a vain attempt to slow down before he resumed his pace, angrily thrusting his fingers in and out of his hole. “Please. I’m ready. Please just get over here.”

 

Hux was ready himself now. Between the view and Ren’s begging, he had stiffened to full hardness. Still, he continued his slow walk, making Ren wait for it just a little while longer. Finally, he reached the edge of the bed. He surveyed Ren one last time, taking a mental snapshot of his softly flushed skin. How delicate it looked against the angry, gaping wounds.

 

He climbed up and slid his body up against Ren’s, covering him. It would have been easy to pretend that nothing had changed if not for the crusted red-brown scar that cut through the features of Ren’s face. Hux lined up the head of his cock to Ren’s entrance and, when satisfied that he positioned himself correctly, started to thrust into him. He was tight, unsurprising given the shoddy preparation, but Hux preferred to go slow. He wasn’t an animal. He had control.

 

He found himself tracing Ren’s long scar with his fingers as he pushed himself deeper into Ren’s smooth warmth. The skin was rough to the touch, gritty against the pads of his fingertips. Ren whimpered beneath him, from which form of touch Hux didn’t know. He pressed harder against the skin of Ren’s face, lost in a sudden fantasy of being able to erase the brand with his touch – irrational as that was. Ren bucked wildly beneath him, moaning with pure abandon.

 

He needed more from Hux. Hux let go of Ren’s face and watched as the man’s lips parted in disappointment. Hux turned his attention away from Ren’s face and instead got to trailing his lips along the soft hollow of his throat. The gentle wetness of the touch was a tease, he knew, but Ren didn’t protest. He deserved a reward for that. Hux opened his mouth and allowed Ren to feel the scrape of teeth. He bit at Ren’s neck and followed the path down to his chest, leaving a trail of angry purple bruises. Ren gave a little gasp for each one and arched his body, pulling Hux in closer, closer.

 

Hux looked up, pulling his head away to his work and was left unsatisfied. A bite mark sat right next to one of Ren’s smug, mocking open wounds and it paled in comparison. He bit back a growl of frustration. He thrust deeper into Kylo and felt the man clinch up against the onslaught. That was a consolation at least.

 

“Thank you,” Ren muttered, unprompted and Hux felt a hideous surge of fondness surge up his chest.

 

He kissed Ren’s wrist and tasted blood. He lifted it up for inspection but not before licking his lips, letting the copper-salt taste overwhelm his tongue. A wound had bloomed in the very spot he had pressed his lips. He felt an odd swell of pride in his chest. It was similar to the wounds on Ren’s feet but egg-shaped, rather than perfectly circular. Unique.

 

“Look,” he said and held up Ren’s wrist for him to see. “That’s mine.”

 

Ren’s eyes widened then narrowed in quick succession. “You were too gentle.” He sounded weary.

 

“Not the usual complaint,” said Hux. He planted a kiss on the other wrist. His mouth was full of nothing but the salt-sweat taste of Ren’s flesh and he tried not to be disappointed.

 

“It’s not going to work now, asshole,” Ren spat. He had snaked a hand downwards and was pumping his cock in his hand with a ferocity he usually reserved for battle. What little patience he had been holding on to had clearly run out.

 

He put his mouth up against Ren’s bare wrist so he could feel his grin in the scrape of teeth against his skin. He pulled back and dropped the clean wrist, turning his attention back to the other. This at least was perfect. He pressed his mouth to it again, licking into the opening. _‘Mine, mine, mine.’_  It was a beautiful chant repeating endlessly in his head.

 

Ren squirmed beneath the touch. “I can hear you. You’re so loud-”

 

“I’m glad,” Hux said against his mark. He thrust ever deeper into Ren, moving frantically now. “I want us to be clear. You don’t belong to the Force. You don’t belong to Snoke. You belong to me.”

 

Ren chose that moment to come and Hux could feel the shudders where his mouth touched Ren’s wrist. 

 

* * *

 

Hux was sleeping in his own quarters when the message came through on the comm, beeping loudly, startling him abruptly from sleep. He sat up ram-rod straight and fumbled for the device. Adrenaline pulsed through his veins. His officers knew better than to contact him during his meagre hours of sleep unless it was an emergency.

 

So this must be an emergency. Finally. 

 

“Lieutenant,” he responded, pressing the button to talk. “Situation update?”

 

“It’s Kylo Ren, sir,” Lieutenant Mitaka said and Hux could hear his anxious swallow before he continued his words. “He’s…he’s made an unauthorised departure. We’ve tried to hail him but he’s jammed the comm system.”

 

Hux paused.

 

“Sir? Do we have permission to pursue him?” Mitaka prompted.

 

Hux could feel his pulse beat in his neck. An impatient part of him wanted to dash out, to commandeer a tie-fighter, to follow Ren and drag him back to the ship where he belonged. This was some act of foolishness, he knew. Some desperate attempt to find a cure. Hux dug his fingernails into his palms but drew no blood. “No. Ren has authority from the Supreme Leader. Resume your shift as usual.”

 

He cut off the comm without waiting for a response from Mitaka. He walked over to the neat pile of clothes and pulled the tracker off his belt. Ren was indeed moving away from the ship though it was unclear yet in what direction he intended to go. Hux took it with him as he got back into bed. He lay on his side, tracker on the pillow, watching the flashing red dot crawl slowly across space.

 

* * *

 

When he woke the screen was blank. His fingers fumbled for the buttons, pressing with mild irritation. It hadn’t occurred to him yet to be concerned in the haze of morning. Nothing appeared. He bolted up in bed and reached for the screwdriver; he always kept one by the bed – it doubled as a weapon and a useful tool for mechanical repair. He opened the thing up, becoming more awake by the second. He pried the side open and found a machine in perfect working order, wires neatly arranged like veins and arteries in a pristine doctor’s chart. It was the kind of loveliness that could only be achieved in machines. He screwed the covering back on. There was a sudden sinking feeling in his stomach.

 

He had been trying to blame the machine but the blame clearly lay in human error. Kylo had either left the range of the tracker or he had destroyed it, purposefully, or by accident in one of his rages.

 

Neither possibility filled Hux with joy.

 

He hadn’t realised it but somehow he’d been expecting Ren to come hurtling back. To have realised by the time Hux woke that he was being ridiculous. But there was no way of knowing what he was thinking now.

 

Hux threw the tracker up against the wall and watched it smash into pieces, his mind already mentally reassembling the device as he looked at what he had done with vague distaste.

 

He left the remnants there. It was no use to him now. 

 

* * *

 

Two months, three weeks, five days later and Hux woke to a shadow across his bed.

 

He started at the intrusion, his heart jumping in his chest. He had been expecting this but that didn’t make him prepared when it finally happened.

 

“Ren,” he said, catching his breath, coating his words in the familiar gloss of superiority and disdain. “Has no-one ever told you that it’s generally considered socially unacceptable to creep on someone whilst they’re sleeping?”

 

Ren did not answer him, just stood there, tall and broad, casting a dark figure even in the lightless room.

 

“Lights 100%,” Hux commanded, getting up out of bed to square up against Ren. He blinked at his eyes adjusted to the light. “So, you’re back. I have all sorts of paperwork for you to fill in about your unauthorised absence. I hope you’re looking forward to it.”

 

Silence. Hux could tell that Ren is looking at him intently but not in exactly what way. The gaze didn’t feel lustful, nor like an attempt at intimidation. It was difficult to get any emotion off of Ren.

 

“Come on then, aren’t you going to tell me what you left for?”

 

Ren unmasked and Hux found himself looking at a face that was both intimately familiar and extremely wrong somehow. It was unmarked, he realised. The line that had cut across his nose was gone, without a trace, leaving only smooth pale skin. And it might have been a trick of the harsh light but Hux could have sworn that there was a strange amber glow about Ren’s eyes now. He reached up his fingertips to trace the place where the scar had been but Ren’s fingers darted out and curled around his wrist, stopping him from making contact with bare skin.

 

“Did you travel all the way across the galaxy for plastic surgery?” he mocked, leaving his wrist in Ren’s grasp. He would not fight him for it. “There are plenty of other things you could have fixed whilst you were at it. I’m surprised you didn’t do anything about that nose.”

 

Ren didn’t rise to it but he did let go of Hux’s wrist. “I have been purified of my impurities and born again.”

 

Hux’s disappointment gave way to a desperate hunger to _know_. “The marks are gone? All of them?”

 

Ren ran his fingers down a seam and his robes went tumbling to the floor with a heavy thud, exposing a mass of white skin. He had been remade in marble, statue-like and somehow cold. Kylo held himself differently now, his fists were unclenched by his side, still wrapped up in black leather gloves.

 

“Take those off,” commanded Hux. There was little hope now that his mark was still there if the others were gone but he had to see it for himself.

 

Ren pulled one glove off by the finger. Not the one Hux was hoping for. Ren was doing as he said – that wasn’t unusual – but what was strange was the way he was doing it. It was as if he were merely indulging Hux out of a bored sense of superiority. Hux didn’t like it one bit.

 

“And the other.”

 

He removed the other much the same way, revealing nothing but skin like untouched snow.

 

Hux felt an odd pang in his chest.

 

“I don’t need this anymore. I don’t need you.” Ren’s shoulders were pushed back, his head held high. There was no quiver on his full lower lip. “I was allowed to see clearly. The source of the infection was you. I have been healed of that now.”

 

“I think you had issues long before you ever met me,” said Hux. He hoped the casualness of his words belied the plummeting sensation in his stomach but he had the horrifying sense that Ren’s steady eyes could see right through him. “And you coming to my room in the middle of the night, un-robing before me – that’s not a desperate attempt at seduction?”

 

“Like I said, I’ve purged myself of my weaknesses. I have no interest in this any longer.”

 

Hux considered and opted to mirror Ren’s tone: full of indifference. It wasn’t hard. He had practice. “Fine. I suppose you won’t mind testing that theory then.”

 

There was no hint of comprehension in Ren’s unbroken stare.

 

Hux met the gaze head on. “It’s just physical. If you really are _purified_ then this should hold no danger for you. Or are you still afraid?”

 

Hux wasn’t sure but he thought he saw something flicker over Ren’s face before it returned to the mask of arrogant calm. Ren shrugged. “If _you_ need this _so_ much, then so be it. There is no risk in it for me but do not think that we will go back to the way things were. You will do as _I_ say now.”

 

Hux raised an eyebrow. “And what do you say now?”

 

“I’m going to fuck you,” said Ren, without inflection.

 

Hux hadn’t done this in a long time, Ren had never shown any interest in this configuration before, but he wasn’t the sort of man to quail at the thought of bottoming, especially not in front of Ren. “Fine.”

 

“You can prepare yourself if you want,” Ren said. He sounded completely detached.

 

Hux gave Ren’s naked form a long look, eyes resting on Ren’s impressive length. “I think I’m going to do that.”

 

He wandered over to his bedside table and found what he was searching for, carrying it with him as he lay back on the bed. He shucked his trousers, shifting to get himself into an ideal position. He coated his fingers with fluid.

 

“This is going to take a while,” he said as he slowly pressed a slicked finger up against his entrance. It was uncomfortable but not as an uncomfortable as having Ren standing there whilst he was so exposed. “Why don’t you tell me about how you achieved this miraculous rebirth?”

 

Ren watched him dispassionately. “It’s beyond your understanding.”

 

Hux worked the finger in deeper, pushing up against the tight ring of muscle. “Why don’t you just try me? I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“I travelled to a planet-”

 

“Which one?” Hux interrupted. “Do be specific. I don’t stand for a lack of accuracy in reports.”

 

“It is forbidden for me to tell you. I would not have known of its existence but it called out to me through the Force,” said Ren, his jaw twitching slightly. “I landed on the surface and I walked on foot through the desert.”

 

Hux ruled out a number of planets in his mind and put several on his list of possibilities, though from what Ren had told him, he likely had never heard of the place. Still, the puzzle gave him something to occupy his mind with as he struggled against the resistance of his body to just a single of his own fingers.

 

“I walked for days. I did not eat. I did not sleep. I did not drink. I felt no need for any of these. I was just motion. I was pure.”

 

Hux let out a breathy sound as he hit up against his prostate and something sparked inside him. He attempted to regain composure as he spoke: “Continue.”

 

“As I walked my weakness drained away. I bled heavily for the first few days, my mind full of conflict. Full of thoughts of _you._ The blood seeped into the white sand and it was absorbed. There was no trail. The colour faded away.”

 

Hux was on his second finger now, making a scissoring motion to allow for a greater stretch. He could feel the press of his cock hard against his stomach. “The blood disappeared into the sand? How unusual.”

 

“My thoughts were whittled away. I just walked. I heard a voice speaking loud to me but I do not remember the words now,” recalled Ren.

 

Hux found himself staring at Ren’s full lips as he spoke. That at least was unchanged, that mouth still seemed to betray abundant sensitivity no matter how Ren held it. “How convenient that you forgot.”

 

“I did warn you that you wouldn’t understand! My mind soaked in the words, like the sand took in the blood, and I was changed.”

 

Hux’s face was so warm now, a lazy relaxation spreading through his limbs. He trained his mind on the inconsistencies in Ren’s stories, not allowing himself to completely give himself over to the sensation. “How did you get back then?”

 

Ren’s lips pursed together before he answered. “So typical of you to focus in on the most mundane details, General. If you really must know, I woke up back in my ship. I must have been guided back there when my mind was emptied of thoughts.”

 

“Who’s to say you ever even left your ship?” prodded Hux, as he tried for a third finger.

 

“My wounds were all gone. Explain that.”

 

“Mmmm.” The noise doubled as an expression of pleasure at the sensations growing inside him and an acknowledgement that he had heard Ren’s answer, even if he felt no need to response.  

 

“Could you hurry up?” an edge of frustration leaked into Ren’s tone. “I think you’re dragging this out on purpose. I prefer to get this test over with.”

 

Hux did not allow himself to smirk. “I am merely making sure the experience goes as smoothly as possible. Although, I wonder what you plan to do with me if you pass.”

 

Ren’s brow furrowed slightly. “What I plan to do with you?” he repeated, as though he hadn’t quite heard what Hux had said.

 

“If your attachment is truly broken, then you can do anything, can’t you? You could kill me, if you wanted to. Or expel me from the Order. Get me out of your way. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. I would have.” He had killed several people to advance the ladder and hadn’t thought twice before doing so.

 

“The attachment is broken. I don’t need to kill you to prove that.”

 

Hux said nothing to that, merely continued his business of pushing his fingers in and out of himself at pace. It was easier now, smoother. They could just about do this now.

 

Ren seemed to take this as some kind of challenge to his statement because he hastily added: “You will continue to serve the Supreme Leader for as long as it pleases him. He can kill you if he likes.”

 

“I’m ready now,” Hux announced, ignoring this entirely. The way Ren was looking at him, eyes shining with a predatory yellow light, acted like a promise against that eventuality. Hux knew that look. He wouldn’t be anyone else’s prey. Ren wouldn’t allow it and Hux was willing to submit, here, now, if it meant he’d win this game in the long run. He had spent the last few weeks imagining the First Order without his leadership at the helm and it had been frighteningly easy. Snoke was taking this time about it but Hux had been resigned to the idea of his imminent disposal. Now there was the glimmer of a chance. 

 

“Fine,” said Ren, as if it were nothing.

 

“Are you just going to stand there?”

 

Ren climbed onto the bed and Hux watched the graceful power of his movements. Ren bore down on top of him, his weight pressing Hux down into the mattress. He could feel the head of Ren’s cock pushing up against his entrance and the moment in which his body yielded to allow him in. 

 

Ren made no hesitation in moving, using the force of his body to push in deeper and Hux already felt so full of Ren. He had wondered what this might be like before but his imaginings hadn’t compared. He had been yearning for him whilst he was away, he could admit that now, and only now, he was back. Ren had been returned to him, fresh and new, and was going to make him his again. 

 

Hux ached desperately to touch himself but he knew he wouldn’t last much longer if he did so put his hands to Ren’s back instead. He dug his fingernails into the soft flesh and scraped downwards, picturing the marks in his mind. There would be no competition for them now. Ren did not seem to react to this, not with pain, not with pleasure. There was time for that later. He could trace the scratch marks with a knife, cut into the flesh and make them permanent.  He wouldn’t let Ren leave. He wouldn’t let him erase them again and Ren wouldn’t want to. He’d see that it was better this way. He would relax into the touch of steel and laugh as Hux licked the blood away.

 

He could mark Hux too if he liked. He could make holes in Hux’s palms, wound him in ways he could never achieve with just the feeble scratch of his own fingernails.

 

They belonged to each other and even if the galaxy didn't belong to them. Even if it never belonged to them. 

 

He loved Kylo. 

 

“Stop that!” Kylo hissed, thrusting harder and harder as if to punctuate his words. “Stop that, stop that, stop that!”

 

Hux blinked up at Kylo’s reddened face. “I’m not doing anything.”

 

“You _know_ I can hear you,” Kylo managed through gritted teeth. Then, in some kind of retaliation, he took Hux’s cock in his large hands and gripped tightly, pulling once, twice. Hux came violently against the friction of Ren’s palms and he felt his eyes widen in surprise, though the warning signs had been legible for miles. He never came before Ren. Half the time he didn’t come at all. An exhausted sort of peace washed over him. An acceptance. He brought his hands up to Kylo’s face and smashed their faces up against each other. The taste of salt on his tongue. Kylo came inside him and pulled his head back, horror-stricken. His mouth was dripping red with blood.

 

“What have you done?” Kylo’s voice hissed out in a desperate whisper.

 

Hux rolled his own head back, hitting the pillow with a thud. There was the strangest sensation, like the room was underwater. He looked at Kylo with glassy-eyed detachment, noting red wound of a mouth against the pale of his skin with barely even the most clinical of interest. 

 

Kylo’s hands were about his hair, now, twisting madly, as though he were trying to rip something out of his skull. Then, a dull roar of pain that seemed to dissipate into the silent air of the room. Kylo’s eyes were screwed shut. Hux lay still. Kylo arched his back, throwing his head back so Hux could no longer see it, the unblemished skin of Kylo’s torso stretching out endlessly in front of him.

 

Everything was slow until it happened. Skin split. Wounds bloomed all over Kylo’s body. Instant. Irrevocable. Kylo fell to the bed, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. The air seemed to rush back into the room all at once.

 

Hux scrambled up, his limbs feeling numb and alien even as he moved. Somehow his hands were about Kylo’s face, touching at dry skin, to find his hands wet. He pulled his hand back, as if burned. There were small hollows in Kylo’s face now. Hux could almost see his skull through his skin. Kylo’s eyes were closed, eyelids smooth, as though in un-pained sleep.

 

“Kylo,” he said.

 

No response.

 

“Kylo,” he repeated, more insistently. “Kylo.”

 

Kylo’s eyelashes fluttered. Kylo’s dark eyes were so blank they could almost be mistaken for serene.

 

Hux exhaled a sharp breath he had not been consciously holding.

 

“You’ve ruined me,” said Kylo and Hux could swear that he’d heard that before.

 

“You were always ruined,” he found himself saying: not smug, not this time. It was true, regardless of how he felt about it.

 

Kylo made no reply, merely climbed into the bed and closed his eyes again. He looked resigned. Hux got in next to him, aware that the sheets were bloody and not caring a jot. He allowed himself to just lie there beside Kylo, not touching, like twin corpses encased in invisible coffins. A desperate impulse pulsed through him - oh to turn over, to cover Kylo’s body with his own, to wrap his arms around him and just hold him. He had never wanted to do this until now, until his touch was mutilating, perhaps deadly. Was it because or in spite of this fact? Hux didn’t know. Kylo’s breath was slow and heavy. He was asleep already.

 

Hux lay still and wondered how long this would last.  

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is super self-indulgent - I've been obsessed with stigmata for years and the thought of Kylo with all those wounds was too good to resist (though I gave Kylo wounds in some different places to traditional stigmata to avoid leaning too hard on Christian imagery/to avoid being too blasphemous). I actually started this a couple of weeks ago but I left it to work on my KBB fic but I got my draft in a few days ago, so I figured I was allowed a little bit of self-indulgence and I finished this off. So yeah, any feedback on this would be much appreciated - I hope someone was able to get some enjoyment out of this mess.


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